Taking Time for Myself

You may have noticed that I’ve been absent these past few weeks and I wanted to explain why. Our apartment was broken into and burglarized on January 10th. Not only did they ransack our home and take our belongings, but they also stole our dog, Scout. I could care less about all of the material possessions that they took because those are all replaceable. But I will never be able to replace my dog.

I will never forget coming home with my husband after work that night to find our apartment door with a huge dent around the lock. Taylor blurted out, “We’ve been broken into.” Our first thoughts immediately were about our dog. Taylor swung open the door and ran over to the bathroom where we keep our dog during the day while we’re at work. I yelled to Taylor, “Is Scout in there?” as I came up behind him. I don’t think I will ever forget Taylor telling me that he was gone and that they took him.

When I heard those words I instantly dropped to the floor and started wailing and crying. I have never felt that kind of pain in my life before and I hope no one ever has to go through that. In that moment I was crying so hard that I couldn’t even breathe properly, it felt like I was hyperventilating. His gate that we put up in the doorway to keep him enclosed in the bathroom was still up and his food bowl was gone.

For background knowledge, Scout is my family dog. My parents gave him to me and my brother the summer before I was going into 7th grade so he’s been with me through half of my life. When me and my brother went off to college, my parents kept him and continued to keep him after we graduated. Whenever my parents would go on trips we would always watch him and this past October we kept him for an additional two weeks after my parents got back from a trip, just because we missed being around him. Taylor and I had been talking about letting Scout live with us part time and sharing him with my parents. So three nights before our apartment was broken into, I picked Scout up from my parents and drove him back to our apartment so he could stay with us for a while. This was the first time we picked Scout up and took him back to our place, just because. So when he was taken, I was so mad at myself for picking him up a few days earlier. I wished that I would’ve let him stay at my parents….I felt like it was partly my fault.

Through the next week or so we did everything we could to try and get the word out about our dog. We posted on several missing pet Facebook pages, shared on NextDoor, did an interview with the local news, created and put out posters and flyers and put an ad in the Atlanta newspaper. We sadly haven’t heard anything yet.

These past few weeks have been some of the hardest I’ve ever had to experience. I feel like I’ve poured my heart and soul doing everything I could into getting him back, but then sometimes I feel like it’s still not enough and there’s more I could be doing. Then I feel guilty when I stop thinking about him and I’m out somewhere having fun because he’s still not home. I just feel so helpless. But I know this is the whole grief process. Some days are going to be better than others and some days are going to be really bad. And I know things get better with time, but I know a little piece of my heart will be missing for as long as he’s not home.

Scout isn’t just an animal or pet, he’s our fur baby who is deeply loved. We just want him home. I hope we get him back.

Hopefully this explains why I’ve needed to take some time off to process everything and grieve. I think it’s time for me to get back into the blog again though. I might be quiet on here for another week or two because we still don’t have personal laptops or a camera since they were stolen. We’re still waiting to hear from the insurance company, but hopefully we can get new ones soon.

In the meantime, call your loved ones and tell them how much you love them. Hug your friends and family tighter. And give extra kisses and love to your fur babies.

Hi! I'm Kenzie! I'm a Target regular. Travel enthusiast. Margarita drinker. And a sale shopper. Welcome to my fashion & lifestyle blog!

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